Roderick's Life Is His Testimony

I don’t remember where I was going but I remember I was on the stairs when this thought hit me “the story of John the Baptist, that’s my answer”.  It wasn’t an audible voice but it was a very strong and very definite thought.  I had prayed when I found Roderick that morning and God gave me the answer.

   That thought had such impact on me that it’s etched in the wall of my brain like bold black lettering on a white wall. 

   When I saw Roderick’s body lifeless and I faced the death of my son all I could see in that moment was his own gun beside him and his life gone.  The only thing I could think was that he shot himself. I immediately began to doubt if Roderick’s life had been a lie and if what we had experienced with him had been a cover-up.

   When John the Baptist was in prison facing death.  He began to doubt if Jesus the Messiah, the one he himself had preached about, was a lie and a cover-up.  So he sent his disciples to Jesus to ask whether He was in fact the Messiah that should come or if he should look for the Messiah in someone else. 

   Jesus answer to John the Baptist was, “Go back and report to John what you hear and see” Matthew 11:4.  John the Baptist knew about the miracles Jesus did but he needed to be reminded what to look for.  Jesus’s life was His testimony, which was all John the Baptist needed to know.

   Roderick’s life is also his testimony.  His actions, the things he did, tell his story.  He was who I knew him to be and I needed to be reminded of that.  Now it’s true that a person can live a lie at times but you can always look past that lie to the fruit they bear.  You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Mathew 7:16.  It is impossible to pretend to be an apple tree and bear apples.  If a tree grows apples it is in fact an apple tree, plain and simple.

   
   Roderick was a kid full of energy that lived life to the fullest (that last phrase I’ve stolen from his friends) and he smiled all the time.  His hockey manager called it a contagious smile.  Roderick was at times frustrated at himself that he could never keep a straight face when he tried to trick someone.  Roderick had many friends and his friends always knew he had their back.

   Roderick’s friends have been an inspiration to me.  They speak of Roderick with such admiration and confidence.  They are also in part an answer to my prayer.

   Roderick was known to encourage friends who felt alone or friendless.  He was everybody’s friend.  On several occasions I overheard him speak up in defence of a new kid or shy kid when with friends.

   The one thing that has really blessed both Jake and me is that the last several months of Roderick’s life were the best of his life.  On several occasions Jake and I had talked about how Roderick was maturing, him and his brother didn’t have much conflict anymore; he loved and paid attention to his sister.  He accepted our decisions without a fight and he often discussed business and how to invest and prosper in life.  It is such a blessing not to have to look back with regret but to have had those wonderful months with him in the end.

   Over the last several months Roderick and I had several meaningful discussions.  One of the discussions I had with him was the Saturday two weeks before the accident.  Roderick was having a snack before bedtime and I was in the kitchen with him.   That week he had a play-off game and made a bad mistake.  He was the only player in his own zone with the puck and passed the puck by mistake to an opposing player at the blue line, who took the puck and scored a quick unassisted goal for the opposing team.  Roderick was very frustrated with that mistake.  I encouraged him to shake it off and get over it when he played the following game on Sunday, and then I shared with him a study that I had just heard about on the radio.  It said that 90% of senior businesswomen had played sports growing up and half of those at a competitive level like college.  But the interesting point was that their success was not attributed so much to having learned to win but rather having learned to loose. 

   I said “Roderick, if there’s one thing you have learned in life it is to loose.  You have never been on a team since we moved to the city that has made it to the finals, (yet he always played with passion and gave it 100%).  Not only in sports but school has been a rough ride for you, you have been knocked down on several occasions but you refuse to stay down, you just get up and keep going.  If learning to loose makes you successful then you will do well in life”.

   I could just see by that pleasant smile on his face that he was ready to take it on again and by the comments he made that he was going to give it his all. 

   I had sold a couple dogs for him that Friday but had not given him the cash because I was going to deposit it for him.  That Sunday morning he asked for some of that cash so he could tithe and we went to church as a family, he seemed especially happy took part in praise and worship and from church we went to his hockey game.  His team won that game and Roderick had one of his most successful games that day.  It was his last winning game here on earth.  He said with pride after the game “the coach wouldn’t let me come off the ice the last couple minutes”.  (Thanks Coach!) He loved it when he was given lots of ice time as all players do.