Heaven is Real

  

Heaven is such a wonderful place.  I have read a lot about heaven since Roderick’s accident and I can tell you heaven seems more real to me then ever, even though it’s hard to grasp with our human minds.  I’ve also read a lot of NDEs (Near Death Experiences) like ‘Heaven is for Real’; I think that one has blessed me the most.  I hesitated to read these because I wasn’t sure if they would be more confusing then encouraging with all the conflicting beliefs and experiences.  Then when we attended Grief Share our Leader Angela said she had read all about heaven after the death of her mother and it helped so much to imagine heaven, she said some of the stuff out there doesn’t agree with the Bible so just throw that out but don’t hesitate to read, so I did. 

   Later when someone saw me read a book like that I was challenged whether I believed that I said, “I won’t argue whether it is true or not but it helps me imagine Roderick in heaven and that is why I read it”.  I do believe when People that believe in Jesus die they go to heaven so I have no problem believing that some of these experiences are real, now some are weird and don’t seem to agree with God’s Word so those I just dismiss. 

   The one thing that they all have in common is how they feel the love of God like they’ve never experienced here on earth.  They’ve never felt so loved before.  We sometimes question how Roderick can be happy without his loved ones, we are after all his family or even if he is happy how can he not feel for us and want to return to comfort us.  This revelation has helped me a lot; he feels loved like he’s never felt loved before but not just that, he now sees that love surrounding us too.  He knows that with God’s love surrounding us we are cared for with a kind of love that he cannot give us here on earth.  In ‘Heaven is For Real’ Colton mentions that he has seen the Holy Spirit shoot power down when his dad preached.  I think about that a lot, God shows His love in so many different ways and if every time we are sad Roderick sees God comfort us or send people our way or all the different things God does, why should he have a desire to come back to us when he knows that he can do very little compared to what he sees the perfect God with the perfect love do for us. 

   Now again I’m not trying to make this Gospel but I do know the Lord can use other people’s experiences to comfort us and I also know that I cannot imagine God’s love to great, it’s still always greater then I can imagine.

    I often struggle with how to word the fact that Roderick has left us, I know we haven’t lost him, if heaven is real then he’s just moved to heaven and if your child moves to a different country you haven’t lost that child, I often say he has left us because he has gone to live in heaven but in a sense he is still always with us.  So even though I don’t know how to word it I do know the more real heaven becomes to us the more real Roderick stays to us.  We will always have three children even if one of them moved to heaven.  The pain of the separation needs to heal and eventually we get used to the fact that Roderick no longer lives with us but he’s still real and he still lives in heaven.  Roderick is not gone. The reason Roderick‘s moving to heaven is so painful for us is because all communication as we know it in the physical sense is cut off.  Hundred years ago when we couldn’t communicate with everyone around the world like we can today when a family member would move to a different country the separation would be almost unbearable at first because there wasn’t a way to communicate very well but eventually they got used to it.  So it is with Roderick moving to heaven even though the separation hurts a lot right now we will eventually get used to the fact that he lives in heaven but he will always still be our son and very much alive. 

   I am convinced that if we could see the Joy and happiness on his face in heaven right now that alone would take some of the sadness away that we feel when we think of such a happy energetic young man having to leave this earth much to early but we can’t see him, all connection we have with him now is by faith and thank God we have that faith.  I found this paragraph in Roderick's binder which he has written in grade 10, his last school year.  I'm not sure what the assignment was but I thought I'd share it.  Shows his simple faith.  
 
   I have never doubted God's existence and his love for me because that's what I grew up believing.  My parents taught me from when I was very young that God loves me and sent his only son to die for me.  I have never really questioned if God existed.  He has proven to me a couple times that there is a God watching over me.  There have been times where an accident should've happened to me but somehow it didn't.  My Grandparents have always believed in a God.  So have my parents and everyone in my family so I've just grown up with it and never questioned it.  -Roderick

Our Strength

  

“You guys are so strong” is one thing we here over and over.  Obviously it’s our Saviour that gives us strength but He does it through all of you who are always there to give us another boost.  We have so many caring people surrounding us there is no room to fall, when we sway there is someone there to quickly put an arm around us and help us stand. 

   Everyone who has brought us a meal is like a hand held out to steady us.  I have a friend from church online that will just mentions that he is reading my blog, another hand reached out giving support.  Some take us out for coffee, paying for my daughter’s Slurpee, stopping by to visit, going to Roderick’s gravesite, wearing the Roderick Rempel tournament shirt to include Roderick on the first day of school, wearing Roderick’s hockey number on the helmet to honour Roderick, sharing memories of Roderick, listening to us talk about Roderick and our struggles since, that’s a big one, listening and allowing us to talk and so many other things.  Talking about it is such therapy.  If we have only two friends that we can share with it isn’t long until we’ve said it all but if we have a 100 friends we can say the same thing over a hundred times and every time it relieves some of the pain. 

   I know that most of you don’t know what a difference your caring acts have made, whether they are big or small.  Some of you might think that your small caring act has probably been lost among the hundreds and that we don’t know how much you actually care and I’m sad to say that there might be those actions that we have missed but I still know even if we might have forgotten they have still helped us continue on, but I will also say there are many small acts that I still often think about and know that the person who did that has no idea what a huge difference they made. 

   There are a couple things though that I want to mention here that have touched me deeply.  Cooper Nemeth’s family, whom we do not know and have never met, less then a month after they buried the body of their own son, they heard about Roderick’s accident and stopped by with a whole box of frozen meals, I have to this day not met them, I have asked for their address to contact them but haven’t got it yet.  In their pain they reached out to comfort us. 

   Roderick’s cousin got married on mother’s day.  Him and his bride decided to honour Roderick on their wedding.  They had small photos of Roderick attached to all their bouquets, then instead of throwing the bouquet to the single ladies they gave it to me for mother’s day in memory of Roderick.  That touched us very deeply, on their special day which was suppose to be all about them besides a wedding is suppose to be a happy celebration but they allowed us all to cry for Roderick that was to me a huge sacrifice they made and indeed very generous of them.  

   When I was in youth I had a friend that was about 5 years older then me who lost her husband suddenly.  She gave me some books to read that were written by other young widows and after reading those I was always afraid to go up to someone who had lost a loved one for fear of offending them because I had no idea what it was like or what would be appropriate to say.  We do not find that so.  A lot of people do not know what to say and that is completely fine because we don’t know what to say either.  Even though some of you might think you’ve said the wrong thing I do not feel like that.  I can feel the love and the care so deeply I do not focus on words that might have come out a bit wrong or different then intended.   

   Being strong is a part of who Roderick is.  Everyone who knew him knew his physical strength and now we need to be strong for him.  Don’t they say one way of overcoming grief is to live for our loved one?  Roderick was strong now we need to be strong for him.  Another gift that Roderick had was to overcome offences quickly.  He did not waste time holding grudges.  I remember when Roderick was a toddler I saw another toddler following a kid around upset that this kid had taken a toy that he wanted.  Roderick was not like that.   If someone took his toy from him he would just quickly give him or her a punch or a shove and then it was over.  I remember saying if I could get to him and hold onto his hand before he hit then he had already forgiven.  He lived life like that, he often acted before he thought and that got him in trouble many times but he was just as quick to forgive and be friends again. 

   I remember Roderick was so upset at his dad one time because Jake wouldn’t allow him to do something he really wanted.  Later when he came back into the room I asked him if he was still upset.  He said, “no because I’ve learned the only one I’m hurting when I’m angry with dad is myself”.

   So thanks to all of you for loving us, caring for us, supporting us and praying for us and thereby helping us to be strong.  Thanks for surrounding us with so much support that there is no room to fall.  We are so blessed by all of you. 

Determined

  “Do you still find yourself crying almost every day?”  I was asked recently.  “I can’t imagine that I would ever stop crying if one of my kids passed away”, she added. 

   Isn’t it interesting I would have said the same thing before Roderick left us; I would not have thought I could do it, and yet it’s more painful then I could have imagined.  The Lord gives the strength we need and we choose to control our minds.  When it gets to hard we choose to lock it out for a bit but then when the pressure builds up to much we open up again and let it out.  We don’t want to cry all day so we choose not to let our thoughts wander to deep into the situation but then when it gets to hard to control we take time to think about it and cry for a bit and then move on again. 

   We are determined to grieve and heal in a healthy way; we do not want to get stuck in grief or fall into depression.  There is only one healthy way, which is to turn to God.  I don’t know how people can do it without faith and honestly they can’t.  We see a lot of people sinking into depression or turning to alcohol.  I don’t blame them; there are days where we get tired of the battle.  But when we turn to God, He always finds ways to comfort us, at times we just wait a bit to long to turn to Him. 

   Our pastor has told us right from the start and so have other caring people there is no formula, there is no certain way to grieve we all grieve in our own way and that’s ok but we do know there are some pitfalls to watch out for.  If we refuse to talk about it and even think about it we know that we’re going to explode eventually from all the pressure.  If that’s the only thing we talk about and think about we can’t move on and live life again so now to find the balance.  At times we have to do things just to survive.  Like I said before at times it just becomes to hard and in order to live life we just choose to push any thoughts of Roderick aside for a while to avoid the pain but then eventually we realize we have to take time to grieve so as not to let the pressure become to much.

   After the first month it seemed my tears had dried up, I did not cry much anymore.  For a while there, I would have times where I would feel depression pressing down on me even though I couldn’t tell exactly why so I just knew I needed to take time to pray and look at pictures of Roderick, or read some of the memories about Roderick or even write down my own memories and have a good cry and then I felt better again. 

   I know that we have and will make mistakes on this journey and we have to be ready to quickly ask the Lord to lift us out when we’ve fallen into a pit and then move on again.  We have so many friends who are there for us, it’s incredible but then there is the occasional person who we thought would have been close enough to care but doesn’t seem to be touched by it much, what I tend to do is just kind of push them out of my circle and leave them by the wayside but I realize I cannot just ignore those feelings because I need to forgive and love them, after all Jesus loves them and how often have I done the same thing in situations before this happened.  I also realize things aren’t always, as they seem.  I lean so heavily on God and His comfort I cannot allow any bitterness or resentment to keep me from Him but here again I also realize that God does not expect me to be perfect and when I do make mistakes He is still there to put His arms around me and comfort me.

   Lately I find myself crying almost everyday a bit here and a bit there.  I miss Roderick and him not being here but I don’t find the pain so intense.  I enjoy working again but any memory of Roderick will quickly bring some tears to my eyes.  I am looking forward to the day when those memories will bring a smile to my face rather then tears to my eyes. 

   So again, we are determined to heal in a healthy way and turn to God through the good times and bad.  We will come from mourning to joy.  We will repent when we make mistakes and we will continue to make a difference in this world until the day our work is done and we can join Roderick in heaven our true home.

City Midget Sharks Eulogy

Hi, I’m Ryan and on behalf of the City Midget Sharks team we are sharing some of our best memories of Roderick, I had the privilege of calling Roderick my teammate for the last 5 years in both winter and Spring Hockey, starting with A1 all the way up to triple A.  Some of you may know that Roderick grew faster then lots of us and those of you who know Roderick will not be surprised when I tell you that one of his talents quickly became hitting.  One of my personal favourite memories and probably one of our whole team’s favourite memories was at our tryout game against Eastman at the beginning of the season.  There was a huge kid easily the biggest on the ice.  Everyone seemed a bit intimidated just looking at this kid’s size, that is, until he came down the boards and Roderick just destroyed him.  The whole team was astonished started to laugh and that settled our nerves and our game quickly picked up after this. My teammate Cole will now share some more words about him on the ice.

My name is Cole and I was Roderick’s D-Partner.  Roderick and I were good friends and one of my favorite memories about Rod was one game we were playing Eastman and he came up to me in between the second and third period and he was all pisst off that I had 9 more penalty minutes then him this season.  So it was the third period and it was his shift and he went out and got a penalty as soon as the shift started and he came off after the penalty and told me it still wasn’t enough.  So we were down a goal, it was the end of the third period and Roderick was out and someone poked the goalie and of course he was there to back up our team and he got tossed and he got 10 minutes penalty and we lost the game and we went in the room, he was just sitting there with a huge smile on his face. And he came and started bragging to me that he had more penalty minutes and I just laughed with him.  Thank-you

Hi I’m Jordan and I’ll be talking about what Roderick was to our team.  Roderick was a kid that any coach wanted on their team. He was hard working, tough and never afraid to stick up for his teammates.  Every time a guy got a cheap hit on one of our guys Roderick was always there.  He had our backs.  Roderick was one of those kids that give a hundred and ten percent every game.  He would back check, battle and he would hit some kids so hard that our team would freak out and we would get all pumped up.  Whenever you fell down, Roderick was always there for you.  Roderick was also one of those guys that off the ice he would always give you a ride, he would give you some tape, sip of his water, some shampoo, some ice tea and he would always give it to you without even hesitation.  He was an amazing teammate and an even better friend.  All of us on the sharks will always miss him and we’ll always be teammates forever.  Thank-you

These are the words of three of Roderick’s teammates shared at Roderick’s service.  Roderick spent a couple hours on the ice and in the dressing room five to six days a week through the last winter with these teammates.  The whole team was very touched by the loss of Roderick.  On Tuesday night after the accident a whole group of them came to our door brought us the jersey Roderick has worn at all his home games the last season.  They had all signed it and written a message on it.  They all gave us a hug and we invited them into our basement and spent some time talking about Roderick’s passion for hockey, his accident, and his last days.  Quite a few of them have later dropped by to show their love and support.  These are amazing hockey players who spend so much time working out, bodybuilding, always practicing to become better and tougher hockey players but one of their own, leaving them so suddenly, I've seen their hearts melt and they become so sensitive and tender.  Bless you guys, you will always be special to us.  THANKS FOR THE JERSEY!

Toughest D-Man I ever coached, Miss You! -Coach Jerald; Run that blue line up there bud! Love ya -Kraz: Thanks for all the tape, Rip Rod -Reid #2; Rest well my friend -Corey; RIP Big Guy, we miss you -Merner #7; Thanks for always having my back -Comeau #37; Rest in Peace Rod -C.Nepinak #16; Rest Easy Big Rig! -#35; Rest Easy Bud -#14; Love u Buddy! -Ryan R #12; Rest in Peace Rod RIP -#18; Love You -Jordan #1; Rest easy Rod love You Buddy -Codey Behun #15; Sharks! -?; Thanks for the ice tea! -Krowetz #3; Rest Easy Love You -#9; We love you Rod Rest Easy -#11; Rest Easy Rod Love you buddy! -Curtis Rebeck #19; Rest in Peace Rod -Graeson #10; Love you Rod Rest easy -#5; Rest easy big guy love you #8 Couch; Rest Easy Buddy Love you -#17 Nolan Koop; R.I.P. -Matt Wessel
TEAMMATES FOREVER