Much to be Grateful For

Much to be Grateful For

  

 

Roderick, his last summer here, on a canoe
trip down the Manigotagan River.
Roderick's dad and him took this trip together
with some other dad's with their sons

 A new year has started and the kids are back in school.  We are back in a routine and ready to make the most of the year.  Monday I had another pity party for myself but even though I’m selfish enough to have those once in a awhile I’m also smart enough to shake myself and say that’s enough it’s time to stop the party and move on.  We have so much to be thankful for.  I’ve mentioned before in my blogs that I believe God can heal us in a real way.  And I am so thankful for that.  I’m not only praying for healing from the pain but also that God will make something incredibly beautiful out of this tragedy.  One time when I was crying in pain, so longing for some relief, I thought of Roderick in heaven, how happy he is, very much real and alive and I thought, I can accept the fact that we have a son in heaven, I can move on but is it to much to ask God in return for an exceptionally tight bond between the four of us that are still here?  Would it be selfish to ask that all the love we cannot physically give Roderick would just be divided amongst us and that we would just be drawn closer to each other in an exceptional way all through life here on earth.  Also all of Roderick’s amazing friends who have suffered with us through this journey, can I ask to see them all succeed and prosper in every way but especially in their soul and in their relationships?  I pray that this will make them stronger and help them make wiser decisions that will help them have real meaning in their lives.  So many people look like they have great lives but feel so empty, please not these wonderful friends.  I pray that to all of us heaven will become a very real place and we will live life knowing that we are on our way to our true home which is heaven where we will all see Roderick again.

   I was asked a question this week that led me to think how wonderful it is that I can have a personal relationship with the Lord and that I can go to Him with all my questions and He will actually provide me with answers.  Now I know there are a lot of why questions that we might never get answers for, those are questions we don’t really need answers for but when we have honest questions that we need answers for God will give us answers.  For example:  I prayed at the scene of the accident that God would send us some answers and later He gave me a clear and specific answer, or when Jake was having a hard time and God provided him with a dream that Roderick was alive and well.  All these to me are gifts from God and I realize again we are truly fortunate.  I cannot even imagine how people do it who cannot go to God in their grief and who look to so many other sources to find some comfort and some closure. 

   So as we start this new year I have not made a lot of specific new years resolution but just aim to look everyday for steps I can take towards our healing, make a difference to the people God brings across my path and watch the Lord make something beautiful out of this tragedy.  Watch with me and we will see it together.

The one and only time we went to West Edmonton Mall with all
three of our children, we went there again over the holidays this
year.