Tyler's Obituary

March 18, 2002 – December 21, 2017

It is with deep sadness that we share the passing of our dear son and brother, Tyler Dan Rempel.  He is lovingly remembered and cherished by his parents, Jake and Lisa, sister, Angeline; grandparents; treasured family and friends. Tyler’s arrival into our family was welcomed with great joy and gratitude. Tyler accepted Jesus Christ into his life at an early age and was baptized at the age of 14. He was never afraid to talk about his belief in Jesus Christ. Tyler had a compassionate heart, and he was always very concerned and sensitive to other people’s feelings.  

As a baby, Tyler was content and happy from the start, and his older brother was so proud of him. Tyler could spend hours entertaining himself, but always lit up with joy when his brother would come join him in his games. Tyler learned to read on his own before kindergarten and loved researching and learning about things that he was interested in. He loved technology and built his first computer when he was twelve years old. Tyler was very clever and had a great sense of humour, and in grade 6 was voted the funniest student in his class. Although he often appeared serious, he could have the entire room laughing at his witty remarks.

When he was eight years old, Tyler was in a farming accident. This experience was very important to Tyler and strengthened his faith in God. Although he was accidently run over by a truck, he sustained no major injuries. In the last six months, Tyler had started showing an interest in the family farm and talked about one day farming with his dad. Although Tyler had not previously considered the idea of farming, he recently started to show more interest in the business side of the industry.

In the last year, Tyler began to spend more time with his sister, Angeline, helping her with homework and showing her how to use her new devices. He recently made a comment to a friend saying he wished it was as easy to talk to everyone as it was with his sister. Tyler and Angeline often spent time chatting and teasing each other and had formed a special bond after having lost their brother, Roderick, whom they both loved dearly. Tyler will be greatly missed each and every day, but we are comforted with the knowledge and assurance that he is now reunited with his brother, forever surrounded by the love of his Lord and Saviour. John 14: 1-4

A Celebration of Life service will be held at Springs Church, 595 Lagimodiere Blvd. on Tuesday, January 2, 2018 at 11:00 am. A private family interment will follow. Arrangements entrusted to: Rock Fontaine Funeral Director Honour-Respect-Dignity Winnipeg(204)223-2576 toll free 1-866-499-2601

How I Deal With Fear

How I Deal With Fear

   I was at a conference yesterday and during the question and answer period a dear young lady got up and this was her question.  “I have gone through trauma and have found healing but my question is, how do I deal with the fear that this can happen to my children?”  I wasn’t one of the speakers who answered questions but being the introvert that I am, I still answer even if just in my mind.  That answer has been playing through my mind all day so here it is, even though I don’t know the young lady and she likely will never read this. 

   I never expected to have a child enter heaven at a young age.  I knew that accidents happen but I always thought that my faith was strong enough that it would keep God’s protection around my kids.  I believe that fear is the opposite of faith and I refused to let the fear of loosing a child into my life.  When Roderick was two and my in-laws were visiting us (they live in Bolivia) my father-in-law made the comment that Roderick was so full of energy and so daring he was not going to grow up into adulthood, he was likely to have an accident before that.  I did not like that and in my heart I said, “I’m not receiving that, my children will grow up to be successful adults”.  Even though Roderick was daring and took risks I learned from when he was very young that he knew his limits and how far he could stretch himself.  I wanted him to live life to the fullest and I didn’t want to be the one to always limit him.

   When other moms talked about their fear of something happening to their kids I felt bad for their kids.  I remember when Tyler was a baby and I helped in the nursery there was this one mom who brought her baby to class full of fear of what might happen.  She had all these restrictions concerning her baby.  One day one of the young volunteers dropped this baby.  She had never dropped a baby before, why would this happen to the one baby who’s mother was already so fearful.  After that she only allowed adults to hold her child, in her defence she did eventually come and apologize for that.

   If fear is the opposite of faith and if faith in God’s protection helps keep our kids from harm then wouldn’t fear open the door to harm?  The Bible is very clear that we should not fear.

   Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.  I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.  John 14:27

   Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid: do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

   These are just two of many verses that command us not to fear.

   But I did walk into Roderick’s room one morning and found his body lifeless and his Spirit escaped to heaven so I guess my faith wasn’t enough or what would the answer be?  I don’t have all the answers.  One thing I know though the Bible hasn’t changed, God hasn’t changed and God’s Protection is still just as real as it was before Roderick went to heaven.  Our Faith in God must be stronger then our circumstances, we cannot base our faith on circumstances but I can tell you I have a far more real battle against fear now so this brings me to the question this young lady asked.  “How do I deal with the fear that something might happen to my kids”? 

   God’s Word is full of protection promises.  When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.  Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be at you side and will keep your foot from being snare.  Probers 3:24-26

   I like this verse because it so applies to me.  My fear is usually at night or when I go to bed because that’s when the accident took place. 

   When I feel fearful I ask God’s protection over my children.  I will pray that God will protect my children every night.  Then I counter the fear by thanking God for His protection until I can overcome the fear.  The Bible says to bring our requests to God with thanksgiving.  It doesn’t seem to me that God will be honoured by me begging for protection over and over, I wouldn’t be if my kids kept asking over an over when I had already promised it to them.  I also think there is power in thanksgiving therefore I choose to counter fearful thoughts with thanksgiving. 

   I have had a few nights where it’s been a real battle and I couldn’t sleep.  Sometimes I have gone to check on the kids in the middle of the night.  My son doesn’t appreciate this much but I think he understands, mostly I have been able to stay in control and overcome fear with the Lord's help.  The Bible says “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  Philippians 4:6

   I have had a few short periods of time where I would wait for Jake to wake up the kids just so I knew they were ok before I checked on them but mostly I look forward to waking them up in the morning.  Every morning the first time I hear or see my kids it’s like relief floods my body “they are ok”.  I will often open the door when I go to wake them up with just a little hesitation but also anticipation.  I could let fear take over every morning but I choose to be grateful instead.  Every morning the first thing I want to do is see my kids but I wait to go until it is time to wake them up at least usually I do.  Sometimes I peak in there rooms when I get up early.  Tyler will often get up on his own and hearing that click of his door opening or closing is a precious sound to me.  In my post on conflicting feelings which I posted not long after Roderick went to heaven I mentioned that I check on the kids at night fearful that something might have happened to them or is it gratitude that we still have them.  Now I choose to be grateful rather then fearful.  When I wake them up in the morning I am grateful that they are ok.  At the moment I feel like this has become a part of my life but I’m ok with it.  There is a new level of gratitude and joy that my children are truly under God’s protection.

   So that is how I overcome fear and have faith in God’s protection.  I ask Him for protection and then believe that I have it and thank Him for it.  Then refuse to allow fear in by meditating rather on His promises.

Dream Again

Dream Again

Just recently we had someone come by to do some work on our house.  He’d done work for us before so we knew the guy.  We asked how things were going and he said it had been slow July and August but now it was just busy, busy.  We were happy for him knowing he was trying to get a business going but he said, “Yea but it’s hard, with two little kids and being so busy”.  It’s true, I get it, getting somewhere financially is hard work and you’ve got to priorities your time.  Kids are much to precious not to have time for them and all your finances won’t make up for it.  Having said that though it takes money to raise kids and give them opportunities.  It’s hard but it’s great.  Working hard is great and having kids is even greater.  So lets focus on the greater rather then the hard.

After the one year Anniversary of Roderick going to heaven I stopped blogging, I hadn’t intended to I just felt like I didn’t need it anymore.  We had overcome all the firsts after his leaving and we seemed to have slipped into this blankness, is that even a word? Or nothingness.  Time seemed to drag for me.  I feel the second year has been much longer then the first.  The summer seemed meaningless except for a couple camping trips, those were great and we enjoyed them but planning them was hard.  No one seemed to know what to do and no one wanted to come up with ideas when we talked about it, it seemed no one really cared.  We talked about going on a trip but no one seemed to care much. 

One day Tyler comes to Jake and me and out of the blue says, “we should get a pool”.  He added that he wanted to start having friends over more often and it would be nice to have a pool.  That same day Angeline comes and says the same thing without knowing that Tyler had brought it up.  Not to long after that Tyler said we should get a tree house built, that should be our project for the summer, so as a family we started dreaming about it.  We discussed whether it would be wise to build a pool unto this yard because it doesn’t raise the value of the property.  We bought an old house six years ago and renovated it but it hadn’t ever really been our intention to make this a long-term home, this was just what we could afford at that time.  So we started looking for a house and enjoyed dreaming as a family again.  We bought a house in September. This will stretch us financially and even though we are big on financial freedom I think it will be good for us to work hard to get ahead financially.  We needed a kick in the butt to say get up, work hard, make it work, start dreaming again, and have a reason to plan.   So if you find it difficult to work hard and get ahead while taking time for your kids. Enjoy it; it really is a blessing even though it is hard. 

We still struggle with dreaming and planning many times but we are excited about moving in February and it is great to dream again. 

I did struggle with the fact that Roderick was not a part of this.  There would be no room in the house that used to be Roderick’s; nothing about the house would remind us of Roderick although we will still have lots of memorabilia to put up for him.  But I had no doubt in my mind that Roderick would have been so excited for this and he would be so mad if his leaving would stop us from moving on in life and dreaming again.  I know we honour him more by moving on and just knowing he is with us all the time wherever we go then being stuck because of his leaving.  After all he has his palace that is by far better then the house we purchased. 

Not Always

Not Always

I read this yesterday. 

I am gentler, more eager to listen to hurting hearts.  I am less likely to judge others and more likely to lend a helping hand.  I am committed to walk gently through this life and to cause as little harm as possible and bring as much joy as is mine to give.

It is a quote by Melanie who also lost a son.  I'm also claiming to be more sensitive and loving in my posts but am I really? Not always.

Earlier this year I was struggling.  I felt like I was dealing with so many issues.  I needed to book a Physical, I was long past due but I hate going to the Doctor, nothing to do with the Doctor, she’s amazing, just don’t like it.  I felt like I had such a long list of issues.  I fought depression every night; I couldn’t sleep well at night and often had discomfort and even pain in my stomach, I woke up with intense headaches and a swollen face quite frequently, I dealt with headaches during the day as well, my neck and shoulders were always tight and it was painful to move, I had pain in my feet.  I would go over the list frequently and thought it was pretty bad although I wouldn’t really tell people.  I knew I wasn’t taking care of myself the way I should, I wasn’t active, I wasn’t eating right, etc. but I just didn’t feel like it after Roderick left, that’s understandable isn’t it? 

Well when you dwell on your problems long enough you eventually share them, most people were very understanding but one time I shared it and felt like my problems were minimized.  This made me angry, so everyone else was allowed to talk about his or her problems but mine meant nothing and I decided I would never share my problems again.  After all everyone else had greater problems. 

Anyway I did have a physical and all the tests came back normal, some numbers were a little bit off but the Doctor told me to cut back on carbs, loose a bit of weight and exercise to see if we could get those numbers right.  Ok sounds good, I wasn’t sick so I would go home and continue on with life.  I had no intention to start exercising, I would adjust my diet a bit but other then that I didn’t have the energy to exercise and I didn’t want the stress of a strict diet.  But here was her catch, she said we would retest in two months to make sure the numbers get better.  O no! now she’s making me accountable.  I asked my son “what motivated you to get in shape and exercise consistently?”  He runs 5 miles daily.  He said, “I just didn’t want to be fat anymore”.  I said, “what if I don’t care that I’m fat”.  He said, “Maybe you want to live long”.  I’m not sure I want that either.  Yea I know, I’m not a very good mother.  My daughter suggested maybe my motivation could be that I wanted to live healthy and I decided that was a good enough reason, while I live I want to be healthy.  So I’m on the treadmill daily now added some probiotics and vitamins to my diet and feel much better, most of the issues are gone but the ones that aren’t are under control.  So I wasn’t really that sick but I still felt a little bit angry.  I feel like we are in a competition to see who has the biggest problems, whether they are health, marriage or depression.  If only everyone else knew how much we are suffering, they sure would feel sorry for us.  I’ve got news for all you people out there with so many big problems, stop focusing on your problems; they’re not as big as you think.  This seems very harsh I know.  For all those who read this I will never hear about your problems again because obviously I’m not very sensitive.  No honestly I want to be gentler, more eager to listen to hurting hearts, less likely to judge others, more likely to lend a helping hand, I am committed to walk gently through life and to cause as little harm as possible and bring as much joy as is mine to give, and I find I can, just Not Always.

I watched this YouTube clip.  The leader organized a race and would give a hundred dollars to the winner; you might have seen it too.  Before he said go he made some statements.

Take two steps forward if your parents are still married.

Take two steps forward if you had a father figure in your life.

Take two steps forward if you never had to fear your cell phone would be taken away.

Take two steps forward if you had access to private education

Take two steps forward if you never had to help your parents pay their bills 

Take two steps forward if your college was paid for

Take two steps forward if you had access to a private tutor

(Not sure if I have this all right but you get the point)

He went on to explain that is how it is in the race of life.  These are all things we have no control over but they give us a head start.  There are many people out there who have no head start at all, they can’t take two steps to any of these statements but they still have to race.  Most of us have most of these things that give us a head start but then we encounter something that sets us two steps back and it seems so unfair.  We focus on those two steps that we have no control over and think things are so bad.  Yet two steps is not a lot to catch up.  There are many things that we have control over in our race of life that help us run faster and we can still win this race called life.  Although we want to believe that it’s our credit that we have a head start it isn’t, so lets not focus on our two step set back but rather on our head start.  Lets be thankful for our head start and help the ones that don’t have that.  Let’s listen to their story instead of magnifying our set back.  Then let’s do the things that we can do to run just a little bit faster when we have set backs.  So often we focus on our set back and slow down in self pity rather then just putting a little more effort into running just a little bit faster.  Most of us think we run as fast as we can but refuse to actually listen and learn how to add a little more stamina and energy to our race.  Like I said in my case, I didn’t want to get unto the treadmill or watch what I eat, rather I complained about my setback and got angry when people don’t feel sorry for me.

Lets run our race of life with joy and not focus on our little set backs but rather on helping the people who are even further behind and lets not loose sight of the many privileges we have.