Last Christmas

Roderick admiring the fish tank he got for Christmas last year

The steak knives I received
from Roderick last year

   Last Christmas

Last Christmas Roderick spent all his money on Christmas gifts even his savings account which was suppose to stay there for a car, not that it was a whole lot.  Jake and I were a little concerned and we questioned him a couple times on whether he was sure he wanted to spend so much, he was having so much fun buying gifts for his friends and family though that we could hardly say much but one time I got an email with an order he had made that was over a hundred dollars.  I knew he had already bought a gift for his girlfriend and presumed it was a gift for Stanton.  I thought he only had a hundred dollars left and knew he had a few more people on his list so this time I questioned him.  “Roderick” I said, “are you sure you want to buy such an expensive gift for one person?  You still have more people left on you list”.

   “I still have more money, mom.  I can buy them gifts yet,” he said.  That was it, he said nothing else, when he got up to go downstairs I repeated one more time, “Roderick, you could still cancel the order and buy a cheaper gift”.   He turns to me and says, “you just don’t want me to spend money on you because you saw those were kitchen knives for you”.  I felt so bad for having checked up on him when he had wanted to surprise me with a gift.  He did not cancel that order and last Christmas I got a set of steak knives with wooden handles and every one of the six knives was made out of a different kind of wood.  Jake received an ornamental golf bag with clubs that Roderick got his own message engraved on.  None of our kids had ever got us Christmas gifts before. 

   The other day I was thinking back to last Christmas, how Roderick spent all his money and how after Christmas he would often mention how he needed to get a job and that he had literally no money.  On his birthday his cousin Stanton gave him this funny card that said, “to the guy that has everything” on the front and Roderick joked yea I have everything except no money.  I never felt that Roderick regretted giving gifts that Christmas but I know that he realized keeping money in the bank would take effort on his part.  Just two weeks before the accident I sold his dogs for him and he finally had some money in the bank. 

   Now looking back, those gifts he bought for his loved ones are a much bigger treasure then that money in the bank would have been after he left.

   As I’m reflecting on last Christmas my thoughts go to heaven.  What is Roderick doing this Christmas?  Is he not just enjoying his favourite music but also a part of it playing percussion which was always his dream but the amount of practice it would require kept him from it, now he can play without learning.  Is he playing hockey on some beautiful Chrystal clear frozen lake that is frozen without cold temperatures and there is beautiful green grass surrounding it or is he surrounded by dancing children all wanting to sit on his lap teaching them to make funny faces?  Does he ever have time to look down on his family and friends here on earth?  One day we will join him, one day we will know until that day we will continue on in faith.

   I wanted to share another Christmas memory from last year.  My youngest brother had the Christmas gathering at his house on the farm in Riverton last year.  His boys had made a back yard skating rink.  The cousins were kind of divided into two groups.  There were seven older cousins who spent their time chatting and playing table games and then there were eight younger cousins who kept the house feeling like a zoo, with two cousins kind of in between, one of whom would romp around with the younger ones and the other one wherever he so desired, at times with the older ones and at times with the younger ones.  Most of the younger ones put on their skates and went outside to skate, some with hockey sticks and a puck some just skating around.  Us parents would enjoy watching them through the window enjoying a little less noise in the house.  It didn’t take long until we saw Roderick out their with the little ones making a fool of himself, trying to play hockey with the little guys, slipping and sliding and falling in his shoes. 

   The door opened and I heard “Mom?” 

   I recognized the voice of my oldest son, so among all the moms I was the one that was meant.  “Yes?” I called back.

   “Did you bring my skates?”

   “Yes I did.  They’re in the back on the Acadia.” I answered

   “Oh good, I didn’t think I had skates.”  He replied.  (How I wish I could hear that voice-calling mom again.)

   Soon he was out there on his skates, being the only older cousin playing hockey with his younger cousins.  That is a memory his younger cousins and this proud mother will not soon forget.