Eulogy by Roderick's teacher

Roderick in his plaid jacket which he wore to school every day last winter

Eulogy by Mr. Neil Downie

   I was Roderick’s shop teacher while he attended MBCI from grade 8 to grade 10 and I am so grateful for this opportunity to be here to share with you a few of my memories, a few of my observations.  Over the last five days at school there has been such an outpouring of stories about Roderick and the obvious love for him from the students and staff there.  Today I will do my best to speak about the life of someone who means more to people here today then anyone of us could put into words.  RODERICK. 

   One of my favorite memories of Roderick will always be the way he came into a room, came into a room like, ain’t no thing “Here I am, check it out”, chest out, what? What? What?  Track pants, hoodie, plaid jacket, back pack.  Ready to go.  He was always ready to go. He was easy to talk to, he was easy to laugh with, he and I would just hang out sometimes.  He’d tell us about, tell the group, tell the guys, talk to me about hockey, bout the big hit he made and the big hit he missed, show us new scars, tell us about new adventures, he was very real, he was very real and down to earth and he didn’t care what others thought about him because he was to busy caring about those he loved.

   What I’ll always remember about him as well is his energy, that guy, like a bull in a china shop, hey?  There he is! Roderick.  It might have something to do with all the skittles, lot’ a candy in that guy. 

   His abilities in the shop were another area that stood out and it was in the shop that I saw his work ethic.  He could work, when he set his mind to it he was off and I trusted that guy, he had fun in the room, he was safe in the room, he took care of others in the room as well, he was productive and happy.  Along with his work ethic was his willingness to lend a hand, on more then one occasion he would dive into somebody else’s project and lend a hand on that, this was his character, he was a helper, he served, willingly.  It was also in Roderick’s character to make any moment better or at least livelier, many of his friends will attest to his physicality, either a punch on the shoulder, a sudden “uh! Two for flinching!”  Or the ever-popular “Hey, Dylan! Catch me!”  Wherever and with whomever he was with, he made moments exciting.

   Yesterday in class I asked my students, Roderick’s friends here to write out some memories that stood out to them or some words that could be used to define, to describe Roderick.  Let me share these with you. 

Tough on the outside but on the inside gentle, caring, brave

Wasn’t afraid to try new things

He had a contagious smile

He loved hockey

Getting pushed by him in a snow bank (that’s an unfortunate memory I guess) Getting pushed by him in a snow bank

His train in the back yard

He had a skip in his step

He was a crazy Quadder

He was happy

He was content

He was gonna run the farm one day

He was fearless

He stood up for people

It never seemed like he was tired always running around making people laugh

He was compassionate

He was the strongest kid in grade 10

He showed affection by hurting you

Happy

An extreme dare devil

And he stood up for people

A few things that we as a staff came up with:

He was a great brother, that’s what we’ve noticed, even at school, always a brother first.

He was the real deal, what you saw is what you got,

I’m grateful. I’m grateful to have been part of this young man’s life, I’m grateful to hear all the stories of all their adventures with him and it’s been helpful to talk it out. 

Roderick’s life had meaning, he lived the way God wanted him to putting others first.  He was a great example to those around him; he was sensitive, humble, full of life and faith.  We can have comfort knowing that Roderick is in heaven.  We’ll miss the laughs, we’ll miss the smiles, we’ll miss the punches on the shoulder, miss it all but Roderick is with God and even though this hurts we are all richer for having known this boy. 

   Thank-you for this opportunity

Today I shared the Eulogy by one of Roderick’s teachers.  I typed the words he spoke at Roderick’s service.  It’s not the same in typing but still very meaningful.  Roderick attended MBCI.  The school has been a tremendous support to us through this whole experience.  The principal was always there to give a hug when I came into the school.  Our younger two children who also attend MBCI felt so loved and supported.  That first week after the accident they didn’t attend school but both of them just wanted to go back to school to see their friends and receive the love and support felt from everyone at school.  The Pac arranged for us to receive meals for weeks. 

Thanks MBCI

Grade 10s all wearing plaid day after accident in memory of Roderick

Tough Questions

   My daughter has been the one who has been asking the tough questions that I have had to find an answer for and given me a determination to go through this with courage and hope.
   It was just an hour or so after we found out Roderick had gone to be with Jesus that Angeline asked Jake and me.

   "Will you be like the parents in movies that never laugh and smile again after loosing a child?"  Angeline asked.

   I decided then and there “No we are not, we have two more children that need us more then ever and deserve a happy and full life. Although we cannot avoid this journey of grief that we’ve been hurled into so unexpectedly, we will only become better parents for the two children we still have.
   "Why did this have to happen to Roderick?"  Was the next question she asked in the first few days.

   "Angeline let's not ever ask why but let's just celebrate the 16 years we've had with him.”  I answered my heart going out to her.  I find the one question God doesn’t answer is why.  He gives us many answers but when we start asking ‘why’ there seems to be no answers.  I believe in heaven we will have that answer but then we won’t really care about the answer anymore.  Pastor Leon said in a recent message “having the wrong belief system in our heart causes us to ask the wrong questions”, I find that to be so true in our journey.
   The third question my daughter asked was “Why doesn’t God bring Roderick back to life, He did that to His friend?”

   “Maybe we shouldn’t ask ‘why wouldn’t God bring him back’, think about it, would Roderick want to come back?”  Roderick had his life here on earth all planned out, he knew what he wanted to do with it and he had many dreams but when he unexpectedly stepped into the gates of heaven on that night and he saw that all of a sudden all those plans and dreams were right there in front of him and they were so much better then he could have ever imagined he was pleasantly surprised and never once thought of coming back but rather looked forward in anticipation to the day his loved ones would follow him and he would be able to show them around and they too would be surprised and understand why he was so happy to stay there.  Who knows, God might have asked him if he wanted to come back and finish his life’s work but I believe God also knew that He could accomplish as much through Roderick’s death as He could with his life.

   A few weeks before Roderick went to be with the Lord, on the way to school with him at the wheel as usual, Jake and Roderick discussed Cooper’s tragic death and Jake commented on what it would be like to travel through space into heaven to which Roderick answered, “That would actually be fun”.  (Cooper was a hockey player from our area that went missing exactly a month before Roderick’s accident, his body was found lifeless a week later.)
We miss Roderick a lot and we cry a lot, but we are not hopeless. Once again I want to thank all of you for making the pain more bearable with your love and support.

Heaven

    

   After that first long day, everyone had left, and it was just the four of us trying to get some sleep or at least rest. I lay in bed thinking, trying desperately to control my thoughts.  Although I had no fear and felt at peace, every time I closed my eyes the only thing I could see was Roderick’s body lifeless in the basement.  I didn’t find this scary I just longed to picture him alive and happy but it just didn’t seem possible.  Pastor Jono had kindly advised us not to go back into Roderick’s room before it was cleaned.

   “You don’t need more images in your head,” he said.

   Now I understood why. 

   We had asked Tyler to come sleep up stairs close to our bedroom; Angeline’s bedroom is already upstairs.  I don’t know how many times I went to check on Tyler and Angeline just to make sure they were ok.  Not that I was plagued with fear, I just wanted to see them again and was so filled with gratitude that we still had two children with us.  That night Jake and me would lie in bed crying and then we’d get up and sit in the living room for awhile go lie down again and rest for a bit etc. 

   During this first night while in bed thinking, another thought hit me, “why when I saw Roderick’s body on the floor did I not kneel and pray, why didn’t I command his spirit to come back into his body”.  I have that kind of faith, I believe in miracles but then I thought, “No; Roderick is where he wants to be”.  By the time I found Roderick he had been in heaven for hours, now I know there’s no time in heaven and God’s power is not limited by time but I could just so clearly picture Roderick walking into the gates of heaven so unexpectedly with such awe, never once having dreamed of going so soon.  Roderick was such a dreamer, he dreamed of the future.  He was hoping to get a scholarship and play hockey for some college and get an education.  He wanted to eventually take over his dad’s farm.  Roderick also dreamed endlessly about joining the military.  He wanted to fight for and defend his country.  Roderick was known to fight for (so to speak) his friends and family.  In hockey Roderick would get more riled by his teammates being mistreated, like a cheap hit or his goalie getting poked, then if something happened to him.  He didn’t much care if he was hit but his teammates that was another story, he would defend them.  Same thing in school over the years when he would get into squabbles here and there it would usually be defending friends. He had his future planned out, (these words I stole from Roderick’s girlfriend).  That night when Roderick stood at the gates of heaven and he saw there in front of him all those dreams so much more real and so much more amazing and so much closer then he had dreamed of here on earth, he didn’t hesitate but knew that’s where he wanted to be. 

   I do not believe that Roderick’s work on earth was done.  I believe God had an amazing destiny for Roderick and I believe God also grieves the loss of an amazing leader.  I don’t believe that God’s original plan is that families should be torn apart but that we would all have full and long lives but because we live in a fallen, imperfect world tragedy is part of it.  We don’t always know why but the beauty of it is that God can always use all the tragedy and turn it into something beautiful. 

   I also know that heaven is our true home and that’s where we all want to be.  Our Funeral Director shared this thought with us; ‘we far overate earth and underrate heaven’.  Roderick is not missing out because he went to heaven early, he is living life so full of happiness which we can only imagine or I should say not even imagine here on earth.  He is feeling God’s love so real, more then he’s ever felt loved before.  He also sees himself for the first time the way God sees him, no insecurities or fears.  Never afraid of doing the wrong thing or whether people will like him, just the amazing, wonderful person God has made him to be. 

   I can imagine him taking a quick glance back at his family and friends knowing they would be extremely sad that he was gone but then realizing that in a short time we will follow him, our tears wiped away.  Also knowing that God will take care of us here on earth with that same amazing love he is surrounded with, even if we don’t feel it, Roderick feels it and knows that we are loved the same way. 
   Knowing that Roderick is in our true home, that he is happy and that we will join him some day brings us such peace and comfort but boy do we miss him. We just want to see him again.  I want him to ask for a hot chocolate again.  I want him to tell me "You're the best mom ever" the way he so often did. The separation hurts but we know he is happy and we will see him again.