Tough Questions

   My daughter has been the one who has been asking the tough questions that I have had to find an answer for and given me a determination to go through this with courage and hope.
   It was just an hour or so after we found out Roderick had gone to be with Jesus that Angeline asked Jake and me.

   "Will you be like the parents in movies that never laugh and smile again after loosing a child?"  Angeline asked.

   I decided then and there “No we are not, we have two more children that need us more then ever and deserve a happy and full life. Although we cannot avoid this journey of grief that we’ve been hurled into so unexpectedly, we will only become better parents for the two children we still have.
   "Why did this have to happen to Roderick?"  Was the next question she asked in the first few days.

   "Angeline let's not ever ask why but let's just celebrate the 16 years we've had with him.”  I answered my heart going out to her.  I find the one question God doesn’t answer is why.  He gives us many answers but when we start asking ‘why’ there seems to be no answers.  I believe in heaven we will have that answer but then we won’t really care about the answer anymore.  Pastor Leon said in a recent message “having the wrong belief system in our heart causes us to ask the wrong questions”, I find that to be so true in our journey.
   The third question my daughter asked was “Why doesn’t God bring Roderick back to life, He did that to His friend?”

   “Maybe we shouldn’t ask ‘why wouldn’t God bring him back’, think about it, would Roderick want to come back?”  Roderick had his life here on earth all planned out, he knew what he wanted to do with it and he had many dreams but when he unexpectedly stepped into the gates of heaven on that night and he saw that all of a sudden all those plans and dreams were right there in front of him and they were so much better then he could have ever imagined he was pleasantly surprised and never once thought of coming back but rather looked forward in anticipation to the day his loved ones would follow him and he would be able to show them around and they too would be surprised and understand why he was so happy to stay there.  Who knows, God might have asked him if he wanted to come back and finish his life’s work but I believe God also knew that He could accomplish as much through Roderick’s death as He could with his life.

   A few weeks before Roderick went to be with the Lord, on the way to school with him at the wheel as usual, Jake and Roderick discussed Cooper’s tragic death and Jake commented on what it would be like to travel through space into heaven to which Roderick answered, “That would actually be fun”.  (Cooper was a hockey player from our area that went missing exactly a month before Roderick’s accident, his body was found lifeless a week later.)
We miss Roderick a lot and we cry a lot, but we are not hopeless. Once again I want to thank all of you for making the pain more bearable with your love and support.