Peace and Together

 

I had a different Topic to write about, but my heart is heavy for my friend Sheri. She always has a very tender spot in her heart when it comes to our loss. She headed up the grad committee this year and so many things weren’t allowed because of Covid but it was always important to her and her question was always ‘but can we still do the toast for Tyler?’ so I’ve been told.  I wrote about the toast that happened on August 21^st in my last post. Just a week later she suddenly lost her husband totally unexpected through a massive heart attack.

My thoughts go back to June 25 when I was at the convocation and had just been presented with the grad booklet because Tyler was not there to pick it up. I am in tears every time I think about it. I wanted to see Tyler graduate; I did not want to have to pick that up for him. Tears were flowing down my face and I was trying to make it to the car before I would lose it completely. Sheri was there with her husband and daughter who also graduated and she caught up with me, hugged me while I was sobbing and crying with me she said, “We will remember Tyler, I will make sure that our family will always remember Tyler, I promise.” It meant so much to me.

When I heard the shocking, unbelievable news I wanted to pray but I did not know how to pray. My mind went back to the first days after the passing of our boys. Knowing at least somewhat what it is like for her makes it even harder to find words because there just are no words in our language it seems.  Life just suddenly stops and then shifts into slow motion, awfully slow motion. Everything that was suppose to be is gone, the appointments you had for the day aren’t even mentioned until the phone rings, you don’t think of getting up to answer so someone else answers and the hairdresser is asking why nobody showed up, Oh, that’s right, for other people life is still going on.  

Two words came to my mind and I prayed them over and over for Sheri and her family. I did not know how to put them in a sentence. They were Peace and Together.  I knew that in the midst of the horrible pain, the shock, and feeling like there has to be a way to wake up from this night mare, underneath all of that it is possible to feel a deep peace, to know that the Saviour is holding us in His arms, He is right there in the darkness, so close that we can feel Him.

Grief has separated many families, but it has also bonded families like nothing else could. Together comes from a scene after Tyler went to heaven. Tyler’s body had just been put in a body bag and when they had his body on the gurney outside on that cold December morning they invited us to say good bye. Angeline Jake and I grabbed our jackets and shoes and went out to say good bye to Tyler's body. When we returned our Jackets to the closet, right there we put our arms around each other and just sobbed, Jake kept telling Angeline and me, “you shouldn’t have to go through this.” I answered him with that one word “together,” “together.” That was the only way possible. 

We were out camping last weekend and I had a night mare, I was trying to scream but couldn’t get any sound out and Jake shook me to wake me up, I lay awake for awhile and again prayed for Sheri and her two children.  I knew they likely were not sleeping either, but just as likely God might have given them some sleep right at that moment because that’s what that peace does. So, either way I knew like for us God wakes up people at different times to pray and help make this journey possible for them.

Death is a part of this life, as painful as it is but heaven is our next life and there is no pain there, therefore that hope makes the sting of death possible to bare. That hope of heaven allows us to bond and journey through this valley of grief with a joy in our hearts, coming out on the other end better people. Out of ashes God creates beauty.